Saturday, December 27, 2008

Q & A: What lubricant to use if she gets dry and sore?

Q. What lubricant to use if she gets dry and sore?

A. There are two types of lubricants most commonly used by couples: water-based and oil-based. Oil-based destroy latex condoms, water-based don't. If you look from pure pleasure and pain reduction perspective, and if you do not use condoms, oil-based lubricants tend to work better than water-based, because as we all know anything to do with oil lubricates much better than anything to do with water. Oil-based lubricants stick and stay much longer around the walls, and don't wear out as quickly.

However, the ongoing spread of STDs and AIDS puts water-based lubricants as our favorites for safer sex play. Amount of choice is quite wide. Most water-based lubricants seem to have the same ingredients - water and glycerin, mostly - and are priced more or less in the same range. Here are the test results of the most common brands to find out the differences.


Following is a list of lubes that were sampled, as well as the final evaluation of their merit. All lubes that were tested contained no nonoxynol-9 (a detergent/spermicide that kills HIV in test tubes) because it tends to irritate the skin.

I-D has an average price and a medium consistency. It stays wet for a long time and re-wets well with spit or water. It doesn't get tacky and is non-irritating. All lubes claim to be "odorless" and "tasteless" even though they usually have a mild aroma reminiscent of Play-Doh. I-D is probably the least offensive taste- and smell-wise. I-D works well for a variety of play. Overall Rating: Excellent

Body Wise Liquid Silk is imported from the UK and has no list of ingredients. The distribution in the US is limited, but it's available through the good people at Good Vibrations. Liquid Silk is incredible! It feels very silky, stays slick for a long time and re-wets very well. Highly recommended! Overall Rating: Excellent

Astroglide falls between Wet and Probe in terms of consistency, on the thin, watery end of the scale. My main complaint about Astroglide is it's price -- in some stores this lube can cost twice as much as other brands! Astroglide stays wet for a long time and re-wets better than any other lube. Save yourself some money, though, and look into other brands. Overall Rating: Excellent, but expensive.

Wet is medium priced and economical despite their widespread advertising. Wet does stay wet, primarily because it has a thin consistency due to the high water/glycerin ratio. I'd recommend Wet over other lubes for anal play as it stays slick the longest and re-wets very well. Overall Rating: Very good.

K-Y Jelly is one of the most recognised water-based lubricants. Some women swear by K-Y for vaginal lubrication, but our test puts it only as average. K-Y is thick and dry and therefore provides somewhat inferior lubrication. K-Y gets tacky and gummy quickly and cannot be re-wet. K-Y has problems in terms of providing proper lubrication for latex. Overall Rating: Average.

Aqua Lube is brought to you by the people who bring you Kimono condoms. Price-wise, it's probably the cheapest on the market. It stays slick for a very long time and has a thick consistency which can feel really incredible. While Aqua Lube doesn't tend to get gummy, it can be difficult to re-wet once it does dry out. Overall Rating: Average.

Probe had the thinnest consistency of all the lubes in our sample and dried up the most quickly as well. Probe contains grapefruit seed extract, which gives it a pleasant taste if you're going down on someone who's used it. This popular brand is moderately priced but dries much too quickly to be a good lube value. Overall Rating: Below average.

Corn Husker's Lotion has basically the same ingredients as most lubes, but the SD alcohol 40 in the lotion gives it a cool feeling. Unfortunately, Corn Husker's Lotion is absorbed into the skin very quickly and it gets gummy with repeated movement. A great moisturizer, but not a great lube, despite the cheap price. Overall Rating: Poor.

Embrace is so thick it barely comes out of the bottle. It dries quickly and gets gummy, not allowing to be re-wet. This product also comes in a nasty strawberry scent that should be avoided. Embrace is very inexpensive, but is not a great lube value. Overall Rating: Very poor

Friday, December 26, 2008

Screaming orgasm: Pornstar's exclusive guide


The physical attraction between men and women is just as strong as ever. It's not knowing how to satisfy one another that is the current problem in people's bedrooms today. Intercourse is no longer just a man's tool for sexual pleasure. With the upsurge of women's liberation, women now feel that they too have the right to be satisfied in bed. Now that men must consider pleasing someone other than themselves, a number of men are finding that they have trouble satisfying the opposite sex. It isn't entirely the fault of the male, as many women demand pleasure without completely understanding what they find self-gratifying in the first place. Without this understanding, it is impossible to communicate your needs and desires to your sexual partner. Given this dilemma, a man should not be afraid to take control of the sexual reins, so long as he knows what he is doing. The man must have confidence in his own sexuality in order to communicate this to his lover.

This goes for women too. In order to gain confidence, a man and a woman must have full understanding of both the technical and operational aspects of their own sexual organs and the sexual organs of the opposite sex. Embedded in this knowledge are the tools necessary to teach you how to stimulate both yourself and your partner. Naturally, your confidence will grow out of experience, but it is always more beneficial to be knowledgeable about various aspects of sex rather than just "wing it" all the time. A large factor in the sexual satisfaction of a woman, and one that is quite often missing, is respect. You need to treat a woman's body not as an object of possession, but as an object of honor and appreciation. You need to heighten your own sensitivity to your partner's sexual responses, then act on them accordingly. Be creative. Women are also moved by fantasy and make-believe in the bedroom, so go ahead and give it a try. No one wants their sex life to become dull and routine. Just make sure that every new aspect you bring into the bedroom in done with thoughtfulness and not with force.

If you want a positive sexual relationship, you must start with a positive attitude about sex itself. Never let the current sexual freedoms of today, like the explicit adult videos and literature, diminish the respect you have for the actual women you encounter in your personal sex life. Without the element of respect, your own personal sexual relationships are doomed to failure. Remember that the more time and effort you put into your sex life, the more you will gain from it. It should never be a source of shame or embarrassment if you need to solicit sexual advice from time to time. This new knowledge should only heighten your self-confidence, which should make you an even better lover the next time the opportunity arises. The real keys to satisfying a woman lie in the sexual knowledge you are able to acquire, the sexual technique you are able to develop, and the positive mental attitude that arises from knowing you possess the first two.

The Basics

Nobody gets it right every time. In order for you to be considered a good lover, you just need to try to make the experience unique and memorable for your woman.

Many men get extremely hung up as to where they rank on a woman's list of past lovers, yet this obsession does nothing but undermine a man's potential performance. Remember the self-confidence we've been talking about? If you worry too much about the past, then your confidence goes right out the door. Rather than spending time worrying about what other men have done in the past, worry about what you can do now to ensure a bright sexual future for you and your future partners. Just remember the basics of good hygiene, like shaving, clipping your fingernails, and brushing your teeth. Try not to force new sexual acts that make your partner uncomfortable. Also, try and control the urge to roll over and go to sleep immediately after ejaculation. It's just little exhibitions of warmth such as these that will keep you in the good graces of the woman you are sleeping with.

There is no foolproof method to satisfying each and every woman you come into contact with, but work on your own personal mindset. Openly display your own sexual pleasure and she will most likely feed off your satisfaction. Convince yourself that you are the best in bed and you will be the best. Remember that the sexual needs of a woman are primarily about emotions and security. Keep the sex exciting and fresh. When you finally put all the aforementioned elements together, you should begin to see a drastic improvement in your sexual performance. More importantly, so should your lovers.

How the Penis Functions

It is imperative that you not only understand the intricate workings of your own sexual organ, but that you have intimate knowledge of the way the sexual organ of the opposite sex works. With this knowledge comes the confidence in your own penis that you need to become a self-assured lover. There is always talk about the physical prowess of a man's penis, but this is all irrelevant to your actual ability to pleasure a woman in bed.

When erect, a smaller penis tends to grow proportionately larger than bigger ones. seems like you would want to judge an erect It penis, if anything, so now you know that all men are virtually created equal. If you truly interested in the averages, then here are they are: Avg. length - 6.375 inches Avg. girth - 4.12 inches Avg. ejaculation after 2 days without sex - 2 milliliters You can sit around all day crunching the numbers and measuring your dick or you can keep in mind the simple fact that the best test of your penis is whether or not you can satisfy a woman in bed. That's all that really counts. There is no direct correlation between the size of a man's penis and his sex drive. There is also no correlation between the physical size of a man and the size of his penis. While we are on the subject, there is also no correlation between the size of a man's balls and his sex drive or his ability to father a child. All of these hypotheses are clearly myths that have disturbed the male psyche for ages.

Well, let's just dispel all these myths right here and now. Try to remain mindful of the fact that there is not a set number of erections you might be able to experience on any given night. The results vary and that is a fact for all men. Do not be discouraged if you need a little break in-between sexual encounters, since it usually takes ten to fifteen minutes recovery time before a man is able to make love again after reaching ejaculation from a previous sexual episode. Always remember that it is the quality, not the quantity that matters anyway. This is where masturbation may come in handy, no pun intended. It is crucial that you understand how you like your penis to be played with so you can show your sexual partner what feels best to you. When you pleasure yourself, then you are able to feel all the internal mechanisms that bring you to climax. Once you learn to recognize the process that drives you to climax, you can better control yourself during intercourse, which will invariably lead to more gratification for both you and your lover.

Sexual Expectations of Women

It is hard to have high expectations for sexual performance if you've never communicated your likes and dislikes to your lover. Your aim is to build up a sexual compatibility, so you need to communicate with one another and share your deepest sexual fantasies and desires. Unfortunately, most women aren't too good at this which creates a lot of dissatisfaction and tension in the bedroom. One of the golden rules is to never suffer silently from sexual dissatisfaction. Go ahead and speak aloud about your sex life, even if you are afraid of making a fool of yourself in the bedroom. Since it is so inherently difficult for women to speak openly about sex, men need to make sure and provide their women with plenty of room to tell you what turns them on. The things that women crave in the bedroom really are fairly basic, like kissing. Men are quite often guilty of getting so into the act of intercourse and of focusing solely on satisfying themselves that they forget to kiss their partner and make it nice for her. Women like to talk and there is nothing wrong with a little playful banter in the bedroom as well. Not all women like the lewd, crude dirty talk either. Just tell her how great her body feels or how pretty she is. Women like to be held and caressed, not just pinched and pulled. Also, don't just dive directly into intercourse…try a little foreplay. I'm not talking an all-night experience, but don't rush things like you're trying to catch a movie afterwards or something. If there's foreplay, then why not a little afterplay too. Just hold her in your arms. Men always joke about getting neck cramps and having their arms fall asleep from having to hold their woman too long after sex, but five minutes isn't going to kill you. Of course, women like just straightforward intercourse and oral sex as well. The woman wants to climax just as much as the man does, so make sure you try to accommodate her too. If you spend the night together, try making love the next morning. Since women are more emotional in the bedroom, they need more reassurance that the prior night's acts were genuine. If you are genuine, then you'll enjoy making love again yourself, so there's no real torture involved. Romance is a sort of sexual stimulus for women. Most women need romance in order for the sexual experience to be completely satisfying for them. There needs to be an emotional build-up preceding the actual act of sex, which is a form of foreplay for the woman. A man just needs to constantly keep in mind the fact that his ultimate goal is to satisfy not only himself, but also his lover. Accordingly, there must be a balance between deliberation and self-indulgence.

The Female Body

In order for you to be good in bed, you need to look at a woman's vagina as more than just a slit or a hole. You must make an effort to understand the shape and construction of a woman's sexual organ, as well as how it performs during sexual acts. The clitoris is the most sexually sensitive spot on a woman's body. In reality, a woman's clitoris is the equivalent of a man's penis, only smaller. A woman generally derives the most pleasure from a soft, constant "strumming" right above the peak of the clitoris. It will benefit both you and your lover if you take the time to explore your woman's body and become more familiar with its intricacies. Try inserting two fingers into her vagina and opening them up like a pair of scissors. This should provide you with a better understanding of just how elastic the vagina really is. Always take particular care not to scratch or hurt your lover, as the lining of the vagina is both sensitive and delicate. As with males, it is mutually beneficial for females to masturbate. If a woman learns how to bring herself to orgasm, she will be able to teach her lover how to do the same. For women, though, sex without orgasm is perfectly alright providing that the total experience is still emotionally and sexually fulfilling. If your woman has trouble reaching orgasm, you may want to try penetrating her from behind. The angle of this thrust pushes her internal flesh against her pubic bone, transmitting pressure into the buried tissues of her clitoris. You can also heighten sexuality through the element of suspense. If a male can teach himself to control his urges to penetrate his lover immediately upon getting her clothes off, then the path to sexual pleasure can be much longer and explosive. Try teasing your woman a little by not putting your whole penis inside of her right off the bat, but by simply inserting the head of the penis. Also, rub the head of the penis up and down the outer lips of her vagina. This form of foreplay should make your woman more responsive when you do finally enter her. You may also want to encourage your partner to watch you entering her either with the use of mirrors or through positioning. Any technique that suspends the inevitable sexual eruption should help increase the pleasure for both of you.

Raising The Level Of Excitement

Just as a man's penis swells when he becomes sexually aroused, so too does a woman experience physical changes in her body when she becomes sexually stimulated. One change in a woman's body is that her labia majora swells, as do her breasts. Her nipples harden and her vagina relaxes and deepens. Also, she secretes a lubricant from her vaginal walls. A woman is capable of experiencing multiple orgasms directly following her first orgasm. In order to get a woman to the stage of multiple orgasm, though, a man must take a few steps. It is helpful if the two of you engage in some imaginative foreplay. You want to make certain that her vagina is intensely stimulated prior to penetration. Make sure that she is well lubricated before intercourse and always remember to take a slow and easy approach to penetration. A woman wants to feel valued and she wants you two to share your feelings with one another. One of the best ways to communicate these feeling to her is by continually caressing her body throughout lovemaking. This also ties into one of the major keys to good lovemaking, which is never rush it. Don't be afraid to use your fingers as well as your penis to stimulate your lover. Feel the way your woman's vagina changes throughout your sexual experience and change with it. As your partner reaches orgasm, you will notice some changes in her body. Her vaginal muscles will tighten, causing her insides to grip the shaft of your penis. Most men dream of simultaneous orgasm with their partners, but the truth is that this does not occur very frequently. The mood and timing have to be just so for this phenomenon to occur. You can, however, increase the likelihood of simultaneous orgasm by working on timing with your lover. The better you know one another, the more you increase your chances of attaining simultaneous orgasm. Some men find themselves plagued by premature ejaculation. The good news is that this is largely a matter of habit, so the sooner you rid yourself of the self-perpetuating thoughts that are causing it, the faster it will go away for good. If you ever find yourself with problems sustaining an erection, be sure to discuss the problem with your lover. Otherwise, she may become anxious, suspicious, and frustrated because she doesn't know what is going on with you. Relax. Erections generally return naturally.

Oral Sex

There are still a lot of women out there who are turned off by the idea of oral sex, but this is generally because they've never tried it. Once a woman experiences cunnilingus, she usually finds it quite enjoyable and is anxious to incorporate it into her sexual repertoire. Here are a few instructions for performing cunnilingus for you men who have yet to work it into your sexual repertoire either. First, lick your woman's clitoris with the tip of your tongue. Remember to always be gentle. Don't forget that you also have your hands to work with, so use them to fondle her breasts or insert a couple of fingers inside her anus or vagina. Part her outer lips with your tongue and insert your stiffened tongue into her vagina. Slowly thrust your tongue in and out of her. Hold the outer lips of the vulva apart and run the tip of your tongue along her clitoris, licking softly and steadily until she becomes aroused. Make sure to maintain a continuous and rhythmic licking motion, as this is what will ultimately cause her to climax. While women are able to receive oral sex, then go immediately into intercourse, males are more restricted. Fellatio is more or less a substitute for intercourse. In order to make fellatio more pleasurable for you, tell your woman what to do in order to please you. Since you know how it feels to you, it is your job to communicate your feeling to her so she knows your like and dislikes.


Sex today is not like sex was just a couple of decades ago. Today we not only have to concern ourselves with your everyday, run of the mill communicable diseases, but we also have AIDS to worry about. Safe sex is the only option you have these days if you want to live to tell about any of your sexcapades. Many of the rules governing sex today have grown out of the stronger, more dominant roles women have captured in our present society. Treat your women with respect. Show at all times what a generous lover you are. Worry about whether your woman was sexually satisfied rather than being solely concerned with gratifying yourself. Don't be afraid to introduce new things into the bedroom, so long as you do it slowly and patiently. You need to know your sexual organs and those of the opposite sex in order to fully grasp the effects sexual arousal has on both your bodies. You need to be in control of your penis. So long as you are able to incorporate all these ideals into beautiful lovemaking, you and your lovers should derive excitement and pleasure out of every sexual circumstance.

And that is the only real way to give your woman a screaming orgasm.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Good Examples of Performing Oral Sex on a Woman

As you lead into oral sex, you may not want to go directly to the vagina but lightly kissing and licking the inner side of the thighs and/or behind the knees is a good place to start.

Typically, at the beginning of oral sex, you should begin with slow, soft licks up the shaft of the clitoris and move on to gently licking the entire vaginal area

The woman lies on her back with her legs spread apart or she lies on her stomach with her legs spread apart.

If she is laying on her stomach, she may want to lie on a pillow to raise herself up so that you can lay between her legs while licking and nibbling from behind her knees up to her inner thighs. You should lick all around the area until you come to the clitoris and then return to teasing the entire area before returning to the clitoris again.

If she is laying on her back, you may want to start by softly kissing, licking, sucking and lightly nibbling you way up her inner thighs to her clitoris.

Once you decide to pay extra special attention to the clitoris, start by pulling the hood of the clitoris back to fully expose the clitoris. Gently stroke your tongue up the shaft of the clitoris a few times.

Flick the tip of your tongue up both sides of the clitoris and trace small circles over the head of the clitoris.

Remember, the idea is to take your time and let her enjoy your oral attentions rather than trying to rush into causing an orgasm.

Try having her raise her legs up and out of the way to fully expose her vagina to your tongue. If she can put her knees up to her shoulders, this will cause the perfect position for inserting your tongue as far as possible. This also exposes the perineum and anus for oral pleasing.

While you are inserting your tongue, try moving your tongue and orally massaging the ceiling of the entrance to her vagina. You can also use the tip of your nose to stimulate her clitoris while inserting your tongue.

Many women find that it is more intense to alternate between focusing your attention on the clitoris or focusing your attention on inserting your tongue but trying to do both at the same time is not necessarily more pleasurable.

Oral sex can be the most intimate experience any couple can share. Just remember that the main focus of orally pleasing your partner is all about experimenting and having sexual fun together.

By taking your time, you can raise the sexual intensity to new heights and cause some truly mind bending, earth shaking, unforgetable orgasms!

Anal Stimulation and Anal Orgasms

This does not necessarily require the entry of a penis into the anus.

The anus and the rectum are very sensitive to damage. The outside of the Anus is also very arousing to the touch. Do not use any dry or sharply pointed objects when stimulating the Anus.

Use a water based lubrication or some saliva on your fingers. Condoms should always be used if there is any question of sexually transmitted disease. The inner walls of the anus tend to allow fluids, such as trace amounts of blood, to pass easily through the walls of the rectum and are noted for the high probability for transmission of HIV or AIDS.

The anal orgasm is a completely different feeling, just as an orgasm caused from the clitoris feels different than a vaginal orgasm.

Most anal orgasms are caused by the insertion of a penis into her rectum.

Every woman starts out thinking that there is no way that she could ever take anything into her rectum and even if she could, she thinks that it would deffenately not feel "good".

The secret to venturing into anal sex is to start out by just playing and teasing the outside of the anus and letting her let you know when she wants to take things a bit further.

Don't start out by jamming your dry finger into her anus. She won't like it at all and it can really break the mood.

Just start out slowly and softly. When she wants to try anal sex, just start out with plenty of water based lubrication and let her do all of the insertion.

You may try several times with no success but if you just let her advance at her own pace without making her feel forced into doing anything, she can begin to learn how to relax the anus to allow you in. Once the head of the penis is in, just move very slightly while not rushing or pushing to go deeper.

The natural bodily reaction is to clench down and to now allow anything to enter the rectum. You may find that she is trying to allow you in but her body naturally reacts with forcing you back out. Stimulating the clitoris can help to overcome this natural reaction. She may find that a small vibrator on her clitoris can be quite helpful in overcoming this reaction.

In a recent survey, most women who have never tried anal sex reported that they would be interested in the idea of anal sex but they also reported that they could not immagine how this could feel "good".

Of those that have tried anal sex, most reported that they did not enjoy the feelings of anal sex on the first try and most of those reported that they never tried it again.

Of those that did continue experimenting with anal sex, they reported that they did not have much success with the first few tries.

Those that did continue past the 4th try reported that they eventually learned how to relax the anal passage to achieve deep penetration and anal orgasm.

The real secret to enjoying anal sex is to relax, bear down slightly, get past the entry point and into deep penetration. When entered from behind, stimulating the clitoris can greatly assist in relaxing the anal passage.

Once she has achieved full entry, you should begin a steady rhythm. Not rushed unless she begins to buck her hips into you.

It usually doesn't take long before she will begin to feel the anal orgasm approaching. Once she has achieved an anal orgasm, she may want to draw away from you or she may want to keep going. This differs from woman to woman and whatever she is inclined to do should always be accepted by her partner.

Best Cunnilingus Positions

Laying Flat
There are a lot of sub variations on this particular position, as you can situate yourself many different ways to give cunnilingus to a woman who is laying on her back. A great beginner position is to have her laying flat on her back with her legs completely spread. Approach from between her feet and lay on your stomach between her legs with your lips at clit level. Another great one is to have her lay on the edge of the bed with her legs up in the air. Approach from the floor and as you put your head between her legs, let them drape over your shoulders. She can also try putting her feet up in the air, depending on how what is more comfortable.

With her standing facing you, kneel directly in front of her and position your lips at clit level. This is a great position to use your hands and fingers as they are freed up to explore. Try a little anal excitement with your fingers while your tongue is busy working her clit over.

Her Sitting
Chairs and couches provide can be stimulating accessories that allow for some unique positions. Try having her sit in a chair with arms, draping her legs over the arms. Approach from below, you should have plenty of room to maneuver.

Doggie Style
You just can't beat the view when you've got her on all fours with her back arched so her head slides down to the pillow. You can go straight in there or position yourself like a car mechanic and slide underneath to begin "servicing". This position also frees up your hands and fingers, so don't be afraid to let them do a little exploring.

An all time favorite, we would be remiss not to include the classic 69 position in our cunnilingus guide. The great benefit of this position is that you'll be receiving pleasure as well as giving it, so make sure you don't stop on your end. You can position yourselves in many ways (even standing), so experiment a little and find what works best for you.

Eating at the Y
Lay her flat on a table with her legs dangling off the edge. Pull up a chair directly between her legs and you're ready for lunch at the hottest diner in town. You'll have your hands and fingers free, so use them - and any handy utensils - to provide pleasure across her entire plate. Use pillows or blankets to get her comfortable as this is an easy position to operate from and can lead to longer than average cunnilingus sessions.

Face Squat
A word of warning. Any time you let a woman who's receiving oral sex position her entire body directly above your mouth, you run the risk of her practically suffocating you during orgasm. On the other hand, this position can be intensely pleasurable for her because it allows her to position herself just the way she likes it. Try stiffening her tongue and letting her ride it all the way home. You'll be surprised how many women really like this.

Best Positions for Anal Sex Intercourse

The "Spoons" Position

Spoons is a good starting position. Each partner lies on his or her side, one behind the other. This helps prevent the penetrating partner from going too fast and allows complete control over penetration. It also brings you closer to your partner so you can judge their reaction to what you are doing.

Missionary Position

The Missionary position has the receiving partner lay on their back while the penetrating partner approaches from on top. The penetrating partner lifts up the calves or shins of the receiver, exposing the anus. This can be an especially intimate position, with both partners facing each other. The Top partner can masturbate the other and is open to massage and cuddling as well.

Doggie Style

Rear entry or the "Doggie Style" is the one position most people associate with anal sex. However, rear entry allows a penis or anal toy to penetrate most deeply and may not be the best choice for the beginner. This position allows the deepest penetration and permits the receiver to better open the anus for entry. Rear entry doesn't offer the kind of intimacy or ease of communication that the other positions do, but for more advanced lovers, can offer the greatest amount of thrusting and penetration.

Full Front

The full front position has the woman lie on her back, drawing her knees up to her chest and over the shoulders of the man, who presses down on her face to face. You can place a pillow under the pelvis to raise it even higher, or the man can push the woman's feet over her head. This position allows for easy penetration and very deep entry.

Standing Position

Another favorite position is a standing one, in which both the man and the woman stand up, facing the same way, and the woman bends over at the waist, using a wall, table or other support. This can also be done on the knees, rather than the feet, at the edge of the bed. When both partners are not of the same height at the waist, some adjustment will have to be made. This position is convenient to use outdoors. It allows easy penetration and full movement if there is something solid around to hang on to.

Stomach Position

The stomach position has the woman lie flat on her stomach. Hips may be raised a little on a pillow if you like. This allows her to relax more and her hands are free. The man lies on top, he can also be more relaxed and have free hands. Penetration using this method is not as easy and you are not able to thrust as deeply. The woman is rather restricted in her movements using this position.

Side Position

From the stomach position, both partners can roll over on their sides, still facing the same way, with one leg drawn up. This position allows bodily relaxation plus free hands to explore and caress. Entry is easy and fairly deep with this position. Movement is somewhat limited, though vigorous thrusting is still easy once you get used to the posture.

Straddle Position

The Straddle Position is great because it allows the woman to control the speed and depth of penetration. Have the man lay flat on his back on the bed, the woman then straddles him and slides her ass back to meet his hard penis. Penetration is easy in this position and entry can be deep. His hands are free to caress her breasts or even slide down to massage her clit while she slides up and down on his penis.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Lead your guy to bed the right way, and get ready for fun

Jumping into bed with a splash of perfume behind your ears and a look of hope in your eyes doesn't always guarantee a night of passion girls.

Sexy Mena Suvari said it with flowers in the hit film American Beauty, and it hit the right spot with Kevin Spacey :)

In order for the earth to move for yourself, you need to create the right atmosphere, get your own primal urges running and to tease the hell out of your partner. Sounds like hard work?

Don't worry, as our Sarah has come up with a special 5-day plan which will guarantee a night to remember for both you and your partner...

Day One
Contact your man and invite him to dinner, either at your place, or if you can afford it, at a couple friendly restaurant that is quiet enough for you both to chat.

Use the time to resolve any non-sexual issues in your relationship but keep the mood positive. Lay on the praise, listen as well as talk and find compromises to your niggles wherever possible. But don't exhaust the issues.

Once you have made some progress, agree to leave these subjects closed until the following week.

By this time you should be ready for dessert. As this is the first day of your sex ban you won't be required to exert yourself. All that is in order is an early night with plenty of hugs so order a sugar-filled calorie concentrate, then spoon feed each other and giggle to annoy fellow diners.

Day Two
After yesterday you should be feeling positive about your relationship, if a little guilty about your diet. Now you're ripe to relieve any other tensions in your life by treating each other to a night of extended massage.

The aim is not only to relax but to locate undiscovered areas of arousal. However, direct contact with genitalia is strictly forbidden. Start at the feet and work your way up to the top of the head.

Focus energies and use a variety of stokes on each area. Try kneading, stroking and circular motions. If you are feeling frisky, go one step further and use your tongue, some fabric or a feather plucked from your pillow to send shivers down his spine.

But remember, although you both may be tempted, sex is still off the menu. Fundamentally, this is an education in your partner's anatomy.

Feedback is essential so ask what is relaxing and what is arousing or listen for involuntary gasps. By the end of the session you should have learned something new about your partner's largest sex organ - their skin! Log this data and think about how you can use it later in the week :)

Day Three
Your first task of the day is to get kitted out with kinky pants. They don't have to be pricey but they must be sexy. On the High Street H&M is the best value for sets, while Top Shop has a seductive range of briefs starting at just £2.50.

Whether or not you see your man, sex is still forbidden. This will come as a relief to some but, hopefully, will be torture to others.

There is one concession - frottage. This is the French word for stimulation through fabric which means you can do whatever you like to each other as long as your naked skin does not come into contact with his.

In other words, leave your clothes on and make like a pair of teenagers in the back row of the UCI. Be warned, it's possible for both parties to reach orgasm this way, which is quite an attribute if you are female, but probably quite embarrassing if you are a male over 13.

Day Four
By the time reach this point you should both be on the brink of sexual frustration.

However, your sex drought isn't over yet so harness that energy into discussing your erotic fantasies. But be careful not to make any revelations that will wound.

As Sigmund Freud once said: "When two people make love there are four people present - the two doing it and the two they are thinking about."

If in your case the third person is his brother or best friend, I recommend you opt for creating a new fantasy together.

Close your eyes and take it in turns to provide a piece of information as you build on the story. For example let him choose the location - like a beach or doctor's surgery, then you choose the clothes you are wearing - like nothing but flower necklaces. Or have him dressed up as a doctor. Don't worry if he's no George Cluney, that's where your imagination can run wild. And so the story goes until you bring your sweetly sordid tale to it's conclusion.

Day Five
Frankly, if you have followed the programme and don't feel as horny as a rhino on the fifth day you need to see a doctor, or another man.

Are you ready for the big day... Jump out of bed, shower, shave and moisturize then put on your new pants and present yourself to the chap waiting under the duvet.

Rub him up the right way with all the massage techniques that took his breath away on day two of this plan. Focus on his particularly sensitive areas, not forgetting the places that are no longer out of bounds, and then lie back while he does the same to you.

Next recall last nights fantasy scenarios and act out the parts you are comfortable with. But don't rush things. After four days of foreplay it would be a shame to blow it at the last hurdle.

If your fella is trying to bring forth seed with all the keenness of the staff at a garden centre, clam him down by pressing the head of the penis. Alternatively change the rhythm or demand some oral sex.

Either way, make sure the session lasts until you are both on the brink of exhaustion then give up and let the waves come washing in.

Monday, December 8, 2008

So you want a quicky in quick time? 9.5 second sex

Anyone can have 9.5 second sex. In fact, a lot of people already do - not just politicians like Paddy Panstdown, sorry Ashdown. But it is difficult. It's all very well getting creative with ice cubes and erotic cuisine when you have 9.5 weeks but what about if you've only got 9.5 seconds?

The answer is to think dirty. Men and women are brilliant at this. Some women don't even need 9.5 seconds of physical contact to reach the big O - they can pull it off simply by fantasizing about sex.

You can use modern technology to fire up his emotions. Mobile phones are now connecting people in more intimate ways than ever before. Forget telephone sex, text sex is the latest craze. If you have flexible fingers, it won't take long to use the numerical pad to tell your lover exactly what you're going to do to him during those breathless 9.5 seconds.

The main thing to remember is not to waste any of your precious time when your fella comes home, so learn the stairwell strip. Shoes removed in the hall, tops should be off by the third step, trousers or skirts should be unfastened by the last step and left to fall with undergarments on the landing. Socks should stay on, this is no time for romance!

Throw yourself onto the bed and foreplay may commence on immediate contact with "By heck pet, you look gorgeous!". When it's all over and done with, you can sit back, relax and get on with the rest of your day.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Anal Sex: The 5 Major Guidelines

There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger inserted into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may find the insertion of a dildo, vibrator, or penis very arousing and stimulating. This section contains all the essential guidelines for enjoying anal intercourse.

Getting Started
Some people are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as they are scared that it will cause great amounts of pain, or the whole thought of it is grosses them out. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t try to force them, it will be a horrible experience for them (and ultimately for you) if they are not comfortable with the idea.

If you are trying to convince your partner to explore this world, using something as large as a penis is definitely not the way to get started. You should start by getting them comfortable being touched in the area, then move up to using a finger or two, and then, when ready, finally moving up to intercourse. Please refer to the anal play to please women or anal play to please men sections to learn more about anal play, using anal sex toys, and analingus. Until your partner is ready to receive, their anxieties will cause their anal sphincter to tighten, and trying to push through will be extremely painful, so be patient!

Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your penis or sex toy has been inside the rectum, don't put them inside anywhere else until you have washed them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to use copious amounts of a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.

The Largest Misconceptions of Anal Intercourse
Most people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. As with any form of intercourse, the anus, like the vagina, must become used to the activity. Any woman who remembers her first time having sex probably recalls a painful experience. In fact, the first couple of times were probably painful and not that enjoyable. Did they stop having sex? In almost all cases, they didn’t. Anal intercourse falls under the same guidelines for both genders; it takes practice to get accustomed to the activity. Pain is usually a sign that something is being performed incorrectly, not that the act is wrong. In most cases pain is due to a few reasons: the receiver is too tense and tightening, the giver is pushing too hard, there isn’t enough lubricant, or that the penis or toy is still too big to put in (based on current experience levels). Using fingers and smaller toys is the best way to get used to the feeling, and it is advised that you increase size a little at a time. Once you have become comfortable with the idea and concepts you will probably find it very pleasurable.

The 5 Major Guidelines

  1. Always use a lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the small amount of mucus a rectum produces is completely insufficient for anal intercourse. Therefore anal penetration should always be accompanied with an ample supply of lubricant. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
  2. Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. If your partner is too tense to experiment, all forms of anal penetration will cause a great deal of pain. We are not saying to stop trying completely, just don’t push yourself onto your partner, as this will only result in a bad experience for them, and make them less willing to try again.
  3. Take it slow. When experimenting with anal sex for the first few times, go slow. There is no rush and if you take your time you will probably both enjoy the experience. There should not be a great deal of forcing required. If lubricated properly, an object should slide in somewhat easily. We recommend using your fingers ahead of time to loosen them up first for the first few times.
  4. Sufficient desire alone does not guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Read the other four points.
  5. Always communicate with your partner. As with any sexual activity, communication is essential. Talk about what you want to do, discuss beforehand your desires, tell your partner what you like and don't like while engaging in anal intercourse. Basically, be open about your preferences and feelings, and, be receptive to theirs.

Understanding the Anus and the Rectum

A minority of men and women respond with orgasms to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority through the sheer excitement of being penetrated anally. For men, an orgasm may be experienced because of pressure applied to the prostate gland. They are no doubt responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies.

The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces, but feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Small amounts may remain in the rectum. This is one of the reasons that it is recommended to use condoms during anal intercourse.

The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal that connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops towards the front of the body again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you lose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become temporarily irretrievable.

If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system (voluntary), which means you can tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (involuntary). The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the person is trying to relax.

Though it is always wise to practice the safest sex possible, this is especially true with anal intercourse. The lining of the rectum is very thin, and can rip if there is too much stress put on it. By wearing condoms, you can greatly reduce your and your partner’s chances of transmitting most STD’s.

Fellatio Secrets: Lesson 5-7

Lesson 5

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a little gauge somewhere that can give you some feedback on how you are doing? Good thing it is exists!

When a man is in a relaxed state, his scrotum and testicles hang freely. As the state of arousal increases, the scrotum will tighten, pulling the testicles closer and closer towards his body. This is a natural process geared at preparing the contents of the testicles for mobilization.

Even better news… his state of arousal, represented in part by his scrotum, can be directly affected by manually and orally stimulating his scrotum. Although you definitely do not want to play rough with his testicles, it can be a welcome change of pace if your neck or arms are getting tired.

Lesson 6

An oral ejaculation is not always a welcome event, especially when it’s not being expected. Although it’s not recommended to cut off the flow entirely, the flow can be reduced by applying pressure to his urethra, found along the entire base of his shaft.

Lesson 7

One of the first problems encountered when learning to perform fellatio was a gag reflex, especially when dealing with men who seem to always want to force their penis as far as they can get it in. (Especially at the moment when they cum!)

According to the statistics, the awkwardness of this situation is confirmed by considering that the average length of your oral cavity is three to three and a half inches while the average penis, in North America, is approximately five and a half inches.

As difficult as it may sound, many have overcome the gag reflex and can take most if not all of their partner into the land of deep-throating. Getting over this hump simply takes practice, ideally on an object that isn’t attached to something that has the tendency to push deeper when you want to abort…

If your partner doesn’t fall victim to the urge to palm your head like a basketball, live training can work… but if all else fails, a popsicle can be a good starter. Just remember to give yourself time to overcome the reflex, rushing this skill will only lead to uncomfortable situations.

If you follow these instructions I imagine that you will have the guy in your life eating out of the palm of your hand, or at least eating out of something... Be safe, and equally important, ENJOY, because that is the most important part.

Fellatio Secrets: Lesson 1-4

Lesson 1

Place your guy flat on his back on your bed, in a well-lit room. Take his penis in your hand and LOOK at it. You will notice a point of juncture where the two ends of this irregular circle come together. If your partner is not circumcised, this will also be the point where the foreskin is attached. This tiny area is likely the most sensitive spot on his entire body.

Spend time caressing the head and those areas immediately surrounding it. Beneath the head of the penis (glans) is the shaft of the penis. Apparently, according to people who study this type of thing, the shaft does not have many nerve endings and does not, therefore, provide a man with any high degree of stimulation when caressed either manually or with your tongue to the exclusion of the glans head itself. Now the one thing that the girls wanted me to add was that you can add a high degree of pleasure for him by paying the right kind of attention to the testicles.

So LOOK at your partner's penis. Study it. Learn its areas of special sensitivity completely and be ready to apply your knowledge to his body with your tongue and with your lips when you bend your loving head over his cock.

Lesson 2

The most important thing to do at the beginning of going down on a man is to learn to gauge his reactions to stimulus. Once this is done, you will be able to finish him on demand, thereby keeping the favor from becoming a chore.

While his erect penis points toward the ceiling, cup his testicles in one hand and gently, using only your tongue, lick softly, but carefully along the entire underside of his erect organ. As you explore along the underbelly you will learn those areas that give him the greatest pleasure when your tongue is touching them.

For most men the most sensitive area will be the point where the ring of the head and the foreskin are attached; or were attached prior to his circumcision. Position yourself so that your tongue is in direct contact with the “split” in the glans head, and simply stimulate that area with any variety of motions; circular, back and forth, side to side.

Lesson 3
Place the head of his penis inside your mouth, but do not tighten your lips around the shaft. With your tongue, begin a circle motion around his head with the tip of your tongue. The head of his penis will slide to different places in your mouth as you continue the circle motion.

The technique is a great transition move between techniques; just make sure to experiment with the whole spectrum of pleasurable pressure, as this is incredibly stimulating just about any way it is performed. You can also incorporate spinning your head in a back and forth motion to add a little extra sprinkle of love.

Lesson 4
Now let’s discuss a technique that is probably the most common in the world; stroking the penis orally. Take his erection in your mouth by sliding your moistened tongue lovingly over the head until your lips close around the shaft, going as far down as you feel comfortable.

Remember the shaft is relatively insensitive to most stimulation, so the majority of the pleasure is coming from the head of his penis coming into contact with your tongue, roof of the mouth, and or the throat. Since keeping it in contact with something at all times can be difficult, a short and gentle stroking motion can provide a significant impact.

Analingus and Anal Fingering

There are two very pleasurable spots in and around a man's anus. The first location is the anus itself; it is surrounded by a large number of nerve bundles and is very sensitive. The second is the prostate gland; it is located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

Getting Started

Some men are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as enjoying it may make them question their sexuality. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding in today’s society. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t force him, but try to open him up to the idea by exploring the area more often with your hands. He’ll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won’t seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him an orgasm three or more times as intense!

Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this form of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your finger(s) or sex toy has been inside his anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to have a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.

Be sure to clip your fingernails quite short before doing any type of penetration, especially anal. The lining of the rectum is thin, and can be torn by sharp objects. If you have longer fingernails, you can pack some cotton balls around your fingernails and put on a latex glove.


Once you get lubricated, you want to start by taking it really easy. Most people who have never had any anal play will tense their sphincter muscles. If they are tensing, do not try to push through, as it will cause a lot of pain and discomfort. Instead, make little circles around his anus and wait for him to relax. Once he starts relaxing, gently try moving your finger in and out a little. Start shallow and slowly move deeper, just make sure to watch his reactions and facial expressions to see if you are going too fast. Once you get inside, you can do a variety of things, including: twisting your hand, pulling in and out, moving in large circles following the wall of the cavity, or stimulate specific spots with little circles. The most effective use of anal play is definitely right at orgasm. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit.


Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different then licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don’t just jump right in, build up to them and allow for your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing fellatio. The area is really sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate.

Access to his anus is a little tougher than to his penis, but there are several positions that are ideal; lying on his back with a large pillow to arch his bum up, him bent over with legs spread, him standing with you kneeling, and him upside down with his legs spread.

Anal Intercourse

Anal sex is quite a different ball game than using your finger. Even if he enjoys and requests you to pleasure him there, he may be apprehensive about putting something so large as a dildo in there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication, relaxation on his part, and a slow, gentle approach. Let him tell you when he wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with his penis at the same time. For more on this please see the Anal Intercourse section.

Anal Toys

Butt Plugs

A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs bring, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus.

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so the companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long.

Climax Beads

Beads are some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which time the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is too intense to handle. We suggest starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced.

And like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Threesomes: what kinds of people participate and why?

This article will explore the world of threesomes: what kinds of people participate and why, some of the different types of threesomes, and its advantages and disadvantages.

Who Wants to be Part of a Threesome?

People pursue threesomes for various reasons. First, the most common, are men who are looking to fulfill the fantasy of being with two women at the same time, especially if the women perform bisexual acts during the course of the threesome, otherwise known as “show time”. ? There are also women who want to experience being with two men at the same time (which is not as uncommon as you might think).

Furthermore, there are those looking to experiment, usually during college years (otherwise known as the “experimental years”), or those who have recently been divorced after being married for a lot of years, particularly those who married at a very young age. They may have missed out on the experimental years when they were younger, so they look to make up for it later in life.

Lastly, there are very sexual men and women who are looking for more variety and merely want and need more than the typical “one on one” sex act - at least once in a while.

Why Would Someone Initiate a Threesome?

A man or woman might be looking to please their partner by fulfilling his/her fantasies or bi-curious tendencies, and so agrees to a threesome with another person. Of course, there is the bisexual person who is simply looking for that occasional excitement of a threesome.

For many bisexual women, having sex with a man is like having dinner … dinner is something you have every night. However, having sex with a woman is like having dessert … something you don’t necessarily have every night, but something you may treat yourself to on occasion!

Swingers (who are now referred to as people who live alternative lifestyles) will often enjoy any kind of an orgy, including threesomes. So a swinger would definitely have reason to initiate a threesome. Also, a person who is looking for a lot of attention and wants to be the so-called “meat in the sandwich” is a prime candidate for initiating a threesome.

Different types of threesomes

The most common threesome is that of a man and two women. The second most common threesome is a woman with two men. However, there are threesomes consisting of the same sex (i.e. 3 men or 3 women). There are also the threesomes that include bisexuality, and then there are those that don’t; some just want to experience their partner in a physically intimate situation with another person.

However, if you are not in love with your partner and may just be having a sexual fling with that person, then a threesome can be simply orgasmic, because you can enjoy the excitement without the jealously, and if bisexuality is involved, you can also benefit from the best of both worlds!

So far I’ve been primarily focusing on the couple. Now let’s talk about the outsider, the “guest”. Being the outsider in a threesome is probably the best position to be in (no pun intended), because there is no love or emotion involved, you are there exclusively for the sex act. In most cases, the guest gets treated like a princess or a prince (as mentioned earlier, the meat in the sandwich), because the guest is the source of exhilaration and variety for the couple. Many times the guest is the couple’s fantasy come true, and that’s a pleasing feeling for the outsider. So, if you like a lot of attention, and if you like to fulfill other people’s fantasies, definitely consider being the guest in a threesome. ?

The most common difficulty in being the guest in a threesome is when he or she is participating with a couple who has never had a threesome together previously; especially if you are a female guest of a couple in which the wife or girlfriend is not bisexual or bi-curious, and the husband or boyfriend tries to push a bisexual act on his partner when she’s really not into it! It really puts the female guest in a very uncomfortable situation. This can easily cause an argument between the partners.

In some cases one partner will start to get jealous watching his or her partner making love with another person, which obviously results in making it a distressing situation for everyone involved. I’ve literally seen wives end up in tears and couples end up not talking or fighting. Needless to say, the guest ends up feeling responsible.

Initiating the Topic with your Partner

First of all, as I’ve emphasized earlier, if your partner is your spouse or someone you are truly in love with………my advice is, “Don’t even consider it!” If you are adamant about sharing this particular fantasy with your loved one, I may have a happy medium for you … keep it as a fantasy only, but share it with your partner. In other words, during sex with your partner you can initiate sex talk about threesomes. Be honest and ask your partner to participate in the sex talk as well, and ask him or her to make up stories for you too, stories consisting of the two of you with a third person. That way you’re always including your partner in your fantasy, without the repercussions that can occur from actually doing it. Your partner may even surprise you and end up being more turned on then you could have imagined. He or she may even have a few fantasies of his or her own to share with you, via sex talk. I sincerely suggest that you take my advice on this matter, as I’ve seen threesomes backfire way too many times with married couples or couples in a serious relationship! Trust me, you don’t want to learn the hard way, it can end your marriage or a wonderful relationship, and a threesome is simply not worth that. So, consider keeping your threesomes just between the two of you!

Now, on the flip side, for couples who are not married or necessarily in love, or who are absolutely sure that pursuing a threesome will not jeopardize their relationship … you can initiate a conversation with your partner suggesting such. First of all, honesty about your desires is the best policy, but keep in mind that this is a very delicate topic and must be treated as such … with great discretion.

You must first use common sense. I don’t know your partner, but you do! Is he or she the type who might participate in such? Is he or she a very sexual person? Is he or she one who has been known to experiment sexually? Has he or she ever talked about fantasies with you? Has he or she ever expressed being bi-curious? All of these questions are essential in determining whether or not your partner should be asked to participate in a threesome.

As a hypothetic example: Suppose your partner is a woman who teaches elementary school, who was a virgin until she was 25 years old, and you are only the second man she’s ever had sex with in her entire life; with someone like her, I suggest that you forget the idea of a threesome, limit it to sex talk. Unless, she’s the total opposite in bed, which is rare, but it does occur on occasion. So, if you have a real wild card on your hands in bed, then that’s a horse of a different color. Otherwise, don’t pursue a threesome with her, unless you’re prepared for the possibility of the relationship ending, or at least starting a huge fight.

Now, once you’ve truly found a potential partner to approach, suggest a threesome while you’re already engaging in sex. The chance of hearing the answer you want to hear is much more likely to happen if you ask him or her while he or she is already hot!!! There’s no right or wrong way to suggest a threesome. It truly depends on the people involved and the relationship you have. My only advice is that if and when you do propose it to your partner, make it perfectly clear that your desire for the threesome is not in any way, shape, size, or form, a result of your partner being inadequate! So, please be careful and make sure that you emphasize that it’s just a sexual fantasy, and that it wouldn’t be same without him or her.

Fortunately, most women are well aware that the overwhelming majority of men would give their right arm to be with two women at the same time. ? However, men, on the other hand, tend to find it difficult to understand why a woman would want a threesome with another man. Women, you have to be especially cautious, because men can be so much more insecure than they admit they are. So, when you do suggest it to your man, you might want to tell him that you are simply an extremely sexual woman (which alone will turn him on) and that you have many sexual fantasies (which will excite him even more), but you have no desire to fulfill any of them without him. That will boost his ego, which will hopefully help him see your suggestion of a threesome from a different prospective, a non-threatening one.

Selecting a Third Party

There are pros and cons in choosing a friend or a stranger. On one hand, you would probably feel more comfortable with someone you know - but on the other hand, you’re taking the chance of possibly ruining that friendship if complications or jealousy arise. Even if the threesome turns out to be successful, it may still make all parties involved feel uncomfortable in the future if it was with a good friend. (Note: I would advise, whether you invite a friend or a stranger to join you, that you’ll still take the same safety precautions.)

So, I do not recommend a threesome with a friend! An acquaintance, however, is a different story. There are some very attractive, clean, well-educated, successful people out there who happen to be very sexual. Just because they are not already a friend of yours doesn’t mean that they are not worthy of being your third person in a threesome.

As far as having a threesome more than once with the same person is concerned, again I would have to say it really depends on the people. It depends if the couple is secure enough, if the third party is non-threatening in any way, and whether or not this is something the couple initially wanted to do it as a one-time experience or if this is something the couple planned to do on a somewhat regular basis. These are topics that simply cannot be generalized, because every situation is different. I’ve had my share of one-time affairs as the guest that worked out great. Yet, I’ve also known various couples throughout the years that I would spend time with regularly, and that worked too. So, you really have to see where the first experience takes you, and all three parties obviously must want the same thing. If the experience was great and there was no jealousy involved, especially if the guest is not a good friend, I would definitely go for it again! So, it truly depends on the circumstances.

Where to Find a Third?

A swing club is a great source to find others who are looking to experiment and fulfill fantasies; they are still out there (although perhaps not as many as there were years ago). To find swing clubs, simply go to any search engine and type the words, “swing club”, once you bypass some of the swing dancing sites, you’ll see many sites that actually refer to sex clubs. Another option is the Personals on the Internet; they too are a great means for finding someone for a threesome. The Internet Personals are not only designed for couples looking for love, they are usually broken down into categories, so you can search for what you are specifically looking for. You can also exchange various photos online first, and you can chat via email or telephone until you feel comfortable enough to meet. Do NOT go to a regular bar or night club and try to pick up someone who you think might be a likely candidate. That’s a really good way to very possibly embarrass yourself, not to mention, get slapped! ?

What's a good place for a threesome?

This is probably the easiest question to answer, and that is … wherever is most convenient for all parties involved. It seems to be more common for the couple to entertain the third person in their home. However, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time that a couple would travel to the third person’s home to be entertained, especially when the couple have children. I guess you can meet at a hotel, but from my many experiences, that’s not too common. Unless, of course, you’re at a swing club, which is the exception to the rule. Now, that can be a really exciting venue for a threesome, or a foursome, or fivesome, etc…. ?


Try not to participate in a threesome with someone you are in love with, or if you know that either of you become jealous easily. Instead, explore some new exciting things that just the two of you can do together in the bedroom, including sex talk about threesomes.

For those of you who are not in love and/or who are planning a threesome for the right reasons, but it’s your first time and have absolutely no clue as to what to do…….believe me, most of it will come naturally! Most times, it’s not planned, it just happens.

One option of a threesome is to make one person the star, and let that person lay back while the other two devour him or her, making the person who is receiving at the time feel like a real prince or a princess! A great idea for a birthday present too! ? However, it’s nice to take turns receiving and giving, so that everyone gets a turn to be a prince or a princess.

A crucial rule is to make sure that no one gets left out!!! Too often a spouse gives more attention to the guest than his or her partner … no, no, no. Trust me; always make sure your partner gets just as much attention as the guest does! Not doing so can literally end a marriage. An easy solution is to take turns in giving and receiving, as mentioned earlier, and be aware of how much time you spend on the guest, because when it’s your partner’s turn to be the prince or princess you want to make sure that he or she receives the same amount of time, maybe even a little more.

The beauty of a threesome, especially when bi-sexuality is a part of it, is that each participant can almost always be giving and receiving at all times. It’s an incredibly hot experience that I believe everyone should consider trying … at least once in their life!

Dirty Talk 101 (Part II)

Now that you should hopefully have awakened your partner’s libido, it is time to put that final touch on. Oh yes! The feature presentation! These are some basics guidelines to keep in mind. Like deep breaths and sounds, your words should also be in sync with the rhythm you have just created. The inhale breath should almost always be heard by your partner and you should speak in the “sexy voice” on the exhale breath. Enunciate all your words to your best degree.

To begin you should focus on these following questions: Which of my partner’s skills or attributes turn me on? How do they make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Dirty talking is mostly concerned with momentous sayings, so you should try to let your instinct carry you. If you feel that your partner is hot, call it as it is: “You are so hot!” If you feel that their touch makes your genitals quiver, say it: “Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver.” If you feel that you are very hard/wet, state it: “I’m so hard/wet right now.”

However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word “because.” You are not writing an essay question. This will avoid sounding dull and it will also add urgency. In a sense, you may be cramming a long portion of a sentence in an exhaling breath so this forces you to say it very quickly, which emphasizes that urge. For example: “You laying there naked makes my cock/pussy hard/wet because I find you to be so irresistible.” You may be feeling this, but this is a bit long. Try separating the fragments with breaths. Long inhale, “You lying there naked,” quick inhale “Makes my cock/pussy hard/wet” inhale “You’re irresistible.” This style sounds more natural than mechanical, which is the intention of good dirty talk.

Another added bonus of separating the sentence is that it allows you to think on the spot. You can simply state something with out wondering whether it’s long enough, or why you feel that way. State the phrase, breathe, and add to it.

To turn up the dirty talking a bit, you should focus on this question: What do I want to happen to my partner or to me? Do not be intimidated. Think about things like foreplay, oral, anal, the use of toys, different positions, being spanked, etc. The answers to this question can be transformed into very naughty phrases. These are all within you, for only you know what you want. Ok, so you can cheat if you really need to: if you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility. Nevertheless, you should look deep within yourself and bare all your dirty fantasies. “Long inhale, You just got out of the shower, couple breaths, I just want to fuck you until you can’t walk anymore, inhale, Cum/spray all over you, inhale, quivering exhale, inhale, Get you all dirty again.”

After letting out some of your wants and desires, you may want to consider adding some more emphasis on certain subjects. One option is to add those initial sounds as previously mentioned. “Uh, inhale, I want to eat out your pussy/suck your dick, inhale, Ah.” Repetition is used to emphasize the importance of an action. “Pound me! Long inhale, Come on, quick inhale, Pound me! Inhale, Pound me harder!” You can also use adjectives and adverbs. “My nipples want your soft lips to slowly suck them and then bite them hard.”

Using singular adjectives or adverbs can also be a relief from always hearing the combination of an adjective before a noun. Make sure to stress the last syllable in the word to create more of an impact. For example, the word “wet” should be pronounced as “wet-te.” “Long inhale, I love it when I/you push my/your cock so far into you/me, inhale, I feel it touching all your/my walls inside, inhale, warm, inhale, wet, inhale, moist, inhale, tight.”

To avoid sounding redundant with vocabulary, attempt using metaphors. “I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me.” “I love it when my/your pole reaches the bottom of your/my throat.” “For a more aggressive touch, using cursing can be quite thrilling. Compare “You are such a great lay” to “Holy shit! You are such a great fucking lay!” Other examples are “Fucking bang me harder, bitch/bastard,” “Fucking smack my God-damned ass,” and “Jesus, it just feels so bloody good that I want to fucking cum all over you.” Here you are able to speak louder because these phrases tend to be more aggressive.

Role-playing can also be considered a section of dirty talk because even though you may be acting, there is massive dialogue. Role-playing basically concentrates on acting on your or your partner’s fantasies. This tends to be more difficult because you need to fully understand your fantasies by knowing the role of both you and your partner. For example, you need to know if your partner ought to be dumb, wild, shy, mean, etc. An easy angle to start with is the dominant and submissive roles. You choose one of these roles while your partner must choose the opposing role or vice versa. The dominant figure tends to be more aggressive in their wants and desires. They must take charge: command and demand. “I am going to handcuff you to the bed, and you better not squeal.” “Spread your legs now!” There are two sides of being submissive: the willing and the refusing. As a willing figure, you may decide to either solely perform the actions or perform with the purpose of liking them. If you are a refusing figure, you may decide to perform the commands while begging for mercy or perform after intense threats. In a case you are finding that your partner is having difficulty taking on the role of a dominant figure, you can then ask defiant questions. “What are you going to do if I refuse to even kiss you, never mind suck your cock / eat out your pussy?” If the dominant partner is still not responding, then you answer the questions. “Will he/she smack me, or pin me down?” Here the submissive partner is offering material that the dominant partner would hopefully be able to work with. There are many situations where dirty talking can be used in role playing: nurse and her not-so-sick patient, the student begging for a better grade, a master and his slave, Cleopatra seducing Caesar, popular cheerleader with the average guy, etc. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree.

It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you are striving for and in the end satisfy your wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible. The techniques and tips here are not etched in stone so feel free to add your personal style to them and to focus on your partner’s feedback. Please keep in mind that practice makes perfect and that variety is the spice of life.

Phone Sex: ‘alternative’ type of sexual encounter.

Phone sex is probably one of the more common ‘alternative’ types of sexual encounter. Both men and women of many different ages have tried it, but many of us get their first taste of it at a young age, often when at a distance from a partner, keeping in touch by phone.

Phone sex is a fairly ‘safe’ style of alternative sexual contact, as there is no physical risk at all, except for what you do to yourself. Phone sex basically amounts to masturbation while talking to someone on the phone. Of course there is a small risk of having your feelings hurt if someone embarrasses you, but this only usually happens with people you don’t know. Most of us perform phone sex with a known partner, so it’s basically risk free.

Some people find phone sex easier than actual sex. One reason for this might be that, for folks who are a little sensitive or self conscious, it allows them to avoid embarrassment. Others like the fantasy element, where they can imagine the erotic details themselves and set up the perfect sexual fantasy. No matter what the reason, there is much you can do when your partner is unseen.

What you can do when you’re having phone sex is limited only to your imagination. Most people appear to feel that the more creative you get, the better the sex. You could be in any room, doing anything. If you have a cordless hands-free phone, your options multiply. One word of caution – avoid the bathtub. We all know electricity and water don’t mix. As with any form of sex, as long as nobody gets hurt and everything is agreed to, anything goes.

What is important from the start when having phone sex with a partner that you’ve known for a while is to learn each others ‘comfort zones’. What are you comfortable with, and what is a little ‘out there’ for you. Discuss it before hand, and get a little idea of what each of you might like or dislike. Knowing this can make all the difference in the quality of your next encounters.

Although most people think of phone sex as being a ‘guy thing’, especially with the way phone sex ads are set up most of the time, it’s interesting to find that many women enjoy good phone sex as well.

What is ‘good’ phone sex? It is individual for each person, but the gender difference appears to be that while most men enjoy the sound of a woman getting off, making moaning and other sounds of pleasure, women appear to like the psychological element of fantasy with their phone sex partners. But again, it really is a personal choice.

One big question for many people is “How do I bring it up with my partner?” - especially when they are unsure of whether their partner would be interested. To start with, it should be mentioned as casually as possible. Most people are at least a little nervous about talking about sexual preferences with new partners, or even established ones. It’s something to try when the subject of sex is already on the table.

For example, when one partner is going away and someone says ‘I guess we’d better find ways to please ourselves for a while…” you have a great lead in. The important thing is to go into it when the subject of sex is already naturally there. If you don’t try to force it, things should flow more naturally.

Of course, you don’t have to wait for your partner to go far away before you try out phone sex! Try it as a new twist for someone close by. Phone sex makes a great early experiment for couples looking into new ideas.

Icebreakers are a big key. Once you get the ball rolling, the rest tends to follow pretty naturally. You might start by gently describing what you want to do to partner. “You know what’s really nice? When a (woman/man)…” Some people use humor – “If you were here, I’d slap you on the ass and say…” or “I’d slap you on the ass and call you my little…” You fill in the blanks with what sounds good to you. Just think of how you can make a gentle sexy comment to test the waters and let things go from there.

With all this talk about phone sex, there ought to be at least a mention of paid phone sex lines. Yes, paid phone sex can be highly erotic. It’s the reason these lines of lines are so popular – a lot of people enjoy them. The biggest advantage here is that you don’t have to prepare to talk to someone, or break the ice. You get on the line, and they’re ready to go. This might be an option for people wanting to get the flavor of phone sex without the risk of being turned down. It’s also one way of getting to know if phone sex is ‘your kind of thing’, and whether phone sex with an established partner is possible and enjoyable for you.

The downside is, of course, the cost. Paid phone sex is expensive. And there is the added disadvantage of the few ‘bad apples’ that will overcharge and charge for services you didn’t want. You can avoid a lot of this by going with some of the bigger, more established lines. Looking for names of companies that have been around for a while can help you get the most for your money here.

Overall, phone sex can be a great addition to your sexual repertoire, with lots of positives and very few negatives compared to some other types of alternative sex. If you haven’t done so already, give it a try!

What is "fisting"?

This is a basic introduction to fisting, including tips on how to do it and some important safety reminders.

What is "fisting"?

Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what fingering is. Whether in the vagina or anus, it's tremendously enjoyable to stroke someone inside. (Fingers up a man's anus, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good... just a little tip!). People are generally comfortable with the idea of fingering with more than one finger, but not as many have been exposed to the idea of inserting a whole hand into the vagina or anus ... which is, in its simplest terms, what fisting is.

Yes, it's anatomically possible, and yes, it CAN be EXTREMELY pleasurable. You generally can get your whole hand inside your partner's vagina, and some people (male and female) are able to accommodate a hand in their anus. For those who are into massive penetration, nothing is a bigger turn-on. No experience is necessary - for either of you; but for vaginal fisting, if your gal pal is a little roomy, or has given birth in the past, you’ll have an easier time. In any case, you need to start off slow and work your way up … pun intended!

A few words of caution before you roll up your sleeves and plunge in: fisting can result in injury to the fistee if not done properly. You do NOT make a fist and ram it home. Fisting is one of the most intimate and complete ways to touch another human being and it is something that has to be worked up to slowly and gently. Not everyone is able or willing to accept fisting … respect that fact and NEVER force participation. In addition, the anus is designed as a one-way system (out) and many members of the medical community argue that any kind of excessive activity that over-stretches the anus can/will result in damage to the area … so, be informed and BE CAREFUL!

There have been many posts about fisting on bulletin boards … talking about the proper technique, the safety concerns, the fantastic feeling of openness and connection, the magical plane that two people fisting can attain ... it's an incredibly intense way to make love.

Trust and communication between partners is essential--and tons of lube helps a lot, too. Respect your partner’s limits and pain threshold. The following guide is intended for consenting adult partners who wish to engage in this act, and we assume no responsibility for possible injuries caused by, or to, those attempting it.

Some safety issues

First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as smooth as it could possibly be. Your fingers will be in some very delicate places -- places that may not have pain receptors. You want to make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.

Use latex gloves. AIDS is a matter of life and death.

For anal fisting, you will probably want to clean your bottom's GI tract out. What else are enemas for? Be gentle with enemas - warm water is best. DO NOT use detergent in enemas.

Okay, now how do you do it?

  1. Get her/him ready.
    Make sure your partner is relaxed, turned on, and comfortable. When a woman becomes aroused, her vagina relaxes, expands and lengthens; all very important for accommodating a fist.

    For anal fisting, the anus must be similarly relaxed.

  2. Use lube.
    Even the wettest vagina can use some extra juice during fisting; the more, the better. The anus produces no natural lubricant, so an artificial one is MANDATORY! A latex glove can also reduce friction and is a good idea for safer sex purposes.

    Use LOTS (and I mean lots) of lube. Push it in with your fingers. Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too much lube. (And remember, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex).

    Some people like KY jelly - others say it dries out too quickly; Astroglide (available in North America) is a water-soluble lubricant which holds up well to continuous use. In the UK, a substance called "Aqueous Cream" is the crème de la crème. Others use "J-Lube," which is a powdered concentrate that when added to water produces incredibly slippery goo; it's sold in veterinary supply houses! (Some people still use Crisco with latex gloves, on the theory that the Crisco is just the best lube, and the gloves don't break down that fast. This is risky, but it's an option.)

  3. Start slow.
    Start with one or two fingers and work your way up to three and then four. Most people need some time to further relax their muscles, and some may require several stretching sessions, over weeks or even months, before you can actually get your whole hand in.

    Go slowly. Start with one finger and work up. DON'T RUSH. Be sensitive to your partner's feelings. You are trying to persuade part of their body to open for you, to admit part of you deeply inside it. The energy will move back and forth, and you'll ride it, coaxing and pushing, in and out, moving your partner into a trance. Keep communicating with your partner; help them to relax and demonstrate some empathy if they are a little uncomfortable at first.

    If this is anal fisting and your partner’s anus suddenly hits their limit, you'll know; their orifice will clench tight-shut suddenly. DON'T PULL OUT. Stay right where you are until the contraction ends, THEN start pulling out. You can pull a muscle or two if you try to back out in the middle of a reaction like that. If this happens, it's OK; you'll know to go slower next time (if you both want to try again). But assuming all is well...

  4. Duck inside.
    When you reach five fingers, you're almost there. Now is when you want to be most sensitive and most aware. Your partner is going to be flying on pain and pleasure; a sudden flinch and you'll find the vagina or anus doesn't want you anymore. If so, respect that - and pull out (slowly!). But if your partner wants it, then you'll slip your knuckles inside, folding your thumb *inside* your fingers, and your hand will NATURALLY form an elongated fist (think of the shape of a duck’s beak) - you DON'T need to clench your hand or anything else! (Note: be careful with your nails as you form a fist). This makes your hand into a wedge shape that allows you to gradually stretch your partner open as you press on. Apply steady but slow pressure.

  5. Let her/him lead.
    Listen to your partner and let her/him tell you when to push, when to back off, when to add more fingers, and when it’s too much. Fisting can cause muscle and tissue injuries if you go too fast or too hard. Some discomfort during fisting is normal, but you have to take her/his word on the difference between a good hurt and a bad hurt.

  6. All the way in.
    The knuckles are the widest part of the hand and the most difficult part to get past the opening of the vagina/anus. You’ll probably run into resistance at that point. Wait until your partner is ready before making the big push. She/he may be able to help by bearing down (as if giving birth or in a bowel movement). Once your knuckles slip past the ring of muscles around the vaginal/anal entrance, the pressure will ease off. Now roll your hand into a fist.

  7. Voila!
    At this point, your partner may or may not want you to make gentle pumping movements with your hand inside her/him, or stimulate her clit/penis etc. Fisting can produce extremely intense sensations, so ask her/him what feels good. When you’re done, make your hand into the wedge shape again, and gently slide out slowly and naturally!

    Now the real fun begins... explore, entice, pleasure your partner’s vagina or bottom … if you’ve done it right, they should be in heaven!!

Sexual Exhibition

Do you remember as a kid the first time that you stumbled upon a nudist sunning at the local lake, or even your friend’s sister coming out of the shower? Do you remember the rush, the sense of excitement found in that illicit moment? We all have felt that surge of adrenaline of catching or being caught in a compromised position, and there are a whole bunch of thrill-seekers out there who have tapped into this type of excitement, and have created a sexual lifestyle from it.

There are three basic types of exhibitionist-type behavior that you can enjoy with a little guts and gusto. First off there are exhibitionists who wish to display themselves sexually to other people, singly or in groups. Their intent is usually to surprise and/or sexually arouse the viewer, giving the exhibitionist an ego rush. The second is to display themselves and their partner sexually to other people. The third and perhaps most accessible to the general public’s more restrained tastes is sex in a public place, but without the intent to let others see. This version is more about the possibility of being caught than actually the desire to be watched.

The voyeuristic aspects of North America are fairly all pervasive. For example streaking at sporting events has become a common occurrence, and fairly accepted. Paparazzi have demonstrated the public’s almost unquenchable desire for nude or almost nude celebrities, whether on the beach on the French Riviera or on the red carpet in Hollywood.

Even more Extensive evidence of this exhibitionist popularity can be seen with the success of "Mardi Gras Flashing" websites, almost always featuring women (rather than men) voluntarily exposing their breasts, buttocks and/or genitalia. A similar, and more comedic but still overtly sexual, version of the same can be seen in the Girls Gone Wild enterprise.

We all have a small desire to be seen and to perform our sexuality for acceptance and ego boosting. Try it; you never know, you might just love it.

Getting Started

They say that to begin to do something scary you have to visualize it and then start in small increments. There are a number of different ways to acclimate ones self to the eroticism of being naked and exposed in public. By becoming comfortable to the act of exhibiting one’s naughty bits to the world, the pleasure derived from the expectation of discovery can be primary and not hampered by ill preparation. Watching videos that have exhibitionist fantasies can be familiarizing and potentially increase the desire and the wherewithal to carry out the fantasy. Some experts recommend starting off by either being naked in the privacy of a back yard or by making love to your partner with the blinds up, but lights off (this works best at night), so that it seems as though people walking by can see in.

Getting comfortable with the concept is what is important here. So any opportunity, like camping, or nature walks, that have the seclusion to reduce the possibility of being discovered to almost zero, should be capitalized upon. By practicing in this manner you and your partner can warm to the process and the ins and outs.

One way to increase comfort while preparing to perform some public lasciviousness is using masks or costumes. Sometimes it's easier to show off when your sure nobody will recognize you. Whatever it takes, a domino mask, or a full-fledged head mask to make you secure enough to shed your inhibitions and perhaps your clothes.

Another thing to consider is clothing. Sure, raising your shirt, lifting your skirt, or dropping your pants is always great for a quickie, but it's clumsy. To get naked fast you need clothes that come off quick, but they also need to make you look normal when you need. A trench coat is an obvious choice, but during warm weather a light button up dress is even better. Overalls are just as quick to get off, and can be used for basic exhibitionist shows too, if you find you're not ready to go all the way. You can also get tear-away clothes like those used by strippers. They're secured at the seams with Velcro so they can be removed quickly without any effort. If you can’t find such things and are not an expert in sewing, you can always try track pants, also known as tear-away pants.

Experiment with different ideas, keep it simple and try to enjoy it. The most important thing about this process is to remember that practice makes perfect, and that if this is something that arouses you, take it seriously, so that when you venture out into the real world.


Like any new activity you don’t want to climb Everest before you see if you enjoy humping up Kilimanjaro. Before you start humping in the middle of your chemistry class here are a few hints for the novice exhibitionist. When you have graduated from the small stuff, we have suggested a few more risky intermediate locations. Finally, as the student becomes the teacher you own creativity will be tested. We have sketched the details but have left the master ‘strokes’ up to you.


Not all of these suggestions are meant to be places or ways to have sex with your partner. Some are simply fun and exciting ways to show off a little skin and get comfortable with exhibition in general.

Joy-Riding – This is a great beginner, whether it is just getting naked in a moving car, or doing a little heavy petting while you or your lover is driving, the exposure is minimal and allows for easy getaways.

Off-Roading - Beside a busy highway is a great novice spot to show off your goods. The best is if you can find somewhere adjacent to a highway, like an access road or something that overlooks the highway but is inaccessible from the main road. This will reduce the exposure and contact with people. So if you want to do a little flashing, or a bit of bumping and grinding, this is a fun way to do it without risking too much. It is nice as well because you can choose location based on distance from the highway, close for more exposure and little further for the faint of heart.

Skinny Dipping - This is a great way to practice taking it off outside of the home, if you can find a private place that is secluded enough for your liking.

All Aboard: Lover’s Lane - Once people get settled in their seats they don't often move around. Choose a quiet time of the day, and wait until your train has moved off. Then start the show. Having a woman who can show off breasts or lift their skirts can be very arousing and easy to conceal. Using digital stimulation is easy in this situation without getting caught. Of course, you can vary the danger depending on the time of day, so that it is busier, with more people about.


Take the following suggestions as hints for increasing both the risk and fun of exposing yourself and your lover to the rest of the world. The more flesh the more fun.

Don’t Freak the Fish - A great place to get scandalous is in the water. Many times you can find beaches with varying degrees of population. The water provides great cover, and you can literally make whoopee in front of hundreds of people without them ever being the wiser, though some discerning beach goers may get what is going on.

Why, is That Acrylic or Oil you Wearing? - This is a great one for the solo- female exhibitionist, and even her voyeuristic partner. You can buy cheap body paint in toy shops, and a little bit of practice should result in a reasonable facsimile of a bikini top... People 'see' the bikini; they don't see that there isn't one.

Try Her on for Size - Go into a change room but leave the curtain just slightly open, so that if someone is at the right angle, they might be able to see into it. There are lots of levels of daringness here; the extent to which the curtain is left open and what you two are doing in there. You can go from just being nude to all out naughtiness.

When the Moon hits Your Eyes… - Start going out late at night. Especially in the summer, cool night air is lovely against the skin. Try walking along the road with nothing on under a light coat. Find somewhere comfortable to disrobe and then use your imagination. You can start by just being naked and move on to more adventurous things.

Just a walk in the woods - Take a walk in the woods, off the beaten track. It is good a place to get serious about exhibitionism since anyone who stumbles on you two will probably not be too disturbed.

There’s Enough Room for Two!... - Photo booths are not just for taking photographs to put into your passport!