The Lingam massage is Tantra's masculine version of the Yoni, or vaginal, massage. Lingam, which means "wand of light" in Sanskrit, is the Tantric word for the penis. The Lingam is a highly respected part of the male body in Tantra and is regarded as the center of creative energy and pleasure.
A person of either sex can perform Lingam massage on a man, but, for the purpose of simplifying instruction, the receiver will be referred to here as "the man" and the giver will be referred to as "the woman."
Similar to Yoni massage, the purpose of Lingam massage is not orgasm. The man may or may not come to climax during the process, but orgasm should not be the goal of either partner. The purpose is to build trust and intimacy between the man and woman and to allow the man to surrender to his emotions. This massage also allows the man to act strictly as the receiver, a rarity in modern cultural sex.
To prepare for the massage, the bladder of the receiver should be empty and both partners should bathe. Bathing together is preferred as it is relaxing and gets both parties in a romantic mood. Make sure the atmosphere encourages relaxation by lighting candles, playing soft music and keeping the room warm. Only perform the massage when you have a good deal of time and will not be rushed. Ensure that there is little to no possibility of interruption.
Before beginning the massage, the partners gaze into each other's eyes while embracing. This is a type of Tantric foreplay in which the couple forms an emotional and spiritual bond.
When both parties are ready for the massage, the man lies on his back with one pillow under his head and another under his hips to elevate his pelvis. He bends his knees and opens his legs to expose his genitals.
The giver sits comfortably between the man's legs with her legs crossed.
Prior to any physical contact, both partners perform Tantric breathing exercises to achieve total relaxation of the mind and body. There are several possible methods, but the gist of all of them is to breath deeply, slowly and in unison with each other. This deep breathing should continue throughout the entire massage.
The massage begins with other parts of the man's body to encourage him to relax. The woman gently but firmly massages his legs, thighs, stomach, chest, nipples and arms before moving toward the genitals.
Next, the woman applies a lubricant to the man's penile shaft and testicles. This can be a warm scented oil, which is particularly pleasurable for Tantric sex as it delights the senses and can be sensuously poured over the Lingam, or a substance such as K-Y Jelly.
Each step of the massage should be done slowly, gently and for at least a few minutes at a time. Again, this massage should not be rushed. Both partners should continue to focus on each other's eyes throughout the massage. Any step of the massage that causes discomfort or pain for the man should be skipped or modified. If at any time the man appears to be approaching ejaculation, the woman should stop the massage for a few moments to allow the penis to relax and then resume contact. The man should continue to breath deeply to avoid ejaculation. Getting to the point of ejaculation and then backing off several times during the massage can help a man to become multi-orgasmic, something that not many men experience. Do not be concerned if the penis becomes soft during the massage. This is not a sign that he is not excited. He will most likely harden and soften several times during the process.
The woman begins the massage by gently stroking her partner's testicles. She then massages the area above the penis and below the abdomen. Next, she moves to the perineum, or the area between the testicles and anus. She varies the pressure and speed of her touch according to her partner's preferences.
She then strokes the shaft of the Lingam by gently squeezing the base of the penis with her right hand, sliding her hand up and then off. She repeats the movements with her left hand and then continues the movements alternating hands, right and left. After a few passes starting at the base and moving up, she changes directions and gently squeezes the head of the penis, slides her hand down and then slides it off. She continues this process several times alternating left and right hands.
Taking the head of the Lingam between her thumb and index finger, the woman twists her wrist to massage the head in a semi-circular motion. She also grabs the shaft of the penis and uses the same twisting motion of her wrist to massage the shaft. Note that she does not twist the skin, only her wrist. Remember that every movement of the massage is very gentle.
Just as women have a G-spot, so do men. In Tantra, it is called the "sacred spot" for both sexes. In men, the sacred spot is in the rectal region and involves the prostate gland. The sacred spot can be found by feeling between the man's testicles and anus for a small indentation. Applying pressure to this area with one or more fingers can be very pleasurable for the man. Another way to find the spot is to insert a lubricated finger into the man's anus. The woman's finger should be inserted very slowly and gently about an inch into the anus. She then bends her finger with her palm facing upward toward the front of the man's body. There she will feel the prostate gland. Massaging the prostate with her finger will stimulate the sacred spot.
If the man gets emotional during the massage, it is extremely important for the woman to allow the emotions to come forth. She should never tease her partner make him feel as though it is not masculine to show his feelings. Emotional and spiritual release is a critical aspect of Tantra.
The massage continues until the man decides it is time to stop or he ejaculates. The couple may choose for other sexual activity to follow. An appropriate choice is the Yoni massage, the female version of the Lingam massage.